On Humans.

“I meet a person, and in my mind I’m saying three minutes; I give you three minutes to show me the spark.”
― Amy Hempel

I’ve never liked humans very much.  Now, animals are better.  The husband-animal, the child-animal, the mother-animal.  These animals don’t bother me so much as “people.”  People get in the way like the potted plant you forgot about for months and then tripped over when trying to reach your favorite necklace off the bureau and old dirt goes everywhere.

A year ago, I started going to therapy and I will say Judy taught me a important lesson: you don’t have to just sit there and take it from people.  “It” being, of course, the way that humans have a tendency towards boredom, rumors, gossip, mean-talking and sorrow-talking.  So, it was like finding my voice in some big inconceivable way, the first time I said NO to quite a few people.  Well, I guess I said more than NO.

My point is, that with writing, saying NO has gotten me into a lot of trouble.  The more I say it, the less I need to write.  I guess that’s glorious, but how does one write YES poems or YES stories or end up without murdering all her favorite characters just from a deeply held-in rage?

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So here we are: the good stuff.  I want to do a giveaway for everyone!  The item being given away is my most recent book, Expletive Deleted.  You may read more about it here: http://anhingamagazine.blogspot.com/ and buy it if you don’t believe in giveaways and science and love.

EXCERPT-

Somewhere There Is

Heather Bell

Somewhere there is a person who looks like me,
but isn’t me.  And she is a successful beekeeper,
though very sad.  She is not married.  She drives

to a tattoo parlor and cries in the back room
and leaves without getting the tattoo she has
wanted for years – three leaves at her hip and

someone’s initials.  She feels transformed when
she stands under the wasp nest in her backyard.

She photographs herself at the water line.
There is a clump of weeds in her hair.  Everything
is scented with polio and old China dinner
plates.  Somewhere, this woman with red hair

and a human head is wearing a man’s
overcoat.  It is high tide somewhere in the world,
she thinks, where you could just wash
away.  Somewhere, there is a woman who

looks nothing like me, but she
arranges buttons like artifacts at her window

just as I do, on the off chance that I
have a sudden hole that needs closing
or a sudden rip or tear
in the universe.

In order to win, you just have to subscribe to the blog and repost on your Facebook (or any website you use most often).  Send me a link to the repost/blog/whatever in your comment and I will throw your hat into a large ostentatious hat and wave a magic wand and you will perhaps win a free book.  SO EASY.  In your comment, I would also appreciate it if you wrote any writing ideas that you would like to see me talk about (publishing, networking, submitting, etc.)   You can read more about all of the things I do here – and yes it needs to be updated, oops!-  http://hrbell.wordpress.com/ ).  The end  date of this giveaway is TBA.

If you already own my book and wish to demand something else, let me know!  Demands are interesting and frightening.  I will wear sunglasses while I read your comments.  I will drink lemon coriander beer.  I will judge you, knowing full well that you are better than I could ever be.  I will know about your saddest moment and your mother’s addictions.  I will soak a leaf in melted copper and divine your future from the drips.  Mostly, I will drink that beer.

SO I would really appreciate it everyone participates!  Feel free to tell your friends/family/cat!  As long as they can type, they can enter!

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Because I don’t like humans and neither do you.

“Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them.” 
― Charles Bukowski

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